growing in Jesus

i like this song for a while now... it teaches and reminds me as i grow in Jesus everyday. 

it takes a lot of growing

for a tree to reach the sky

it takes a lot of rain to help it grow

it takes a lot of running

for a child to catch the wind

it takes a lot of walking to learn to run

and i'm growing in Jesus

getting stronger each and everyday in every way

cos' Jesus is growing in me

many times i feel discouraged

when the rain got in my way

i didn't know that it would help me grow

and everytime i run ahead

i always miss a turn

and end up walking backwards

while I learn

and i'm growing in Jesus

getting stronger each and everyday in every way

cos' Jesus is growing in me

and i'm growing in Jesus

getting stronger each and everyday in every way

cos' Jesus is growing in me

paranoia

i believe everyone of us has its own paranoia, that at some point we get paranoid on some things...

i have mine lately... i get paranoid when i thought i am rejected in which not intentionally done. yes! it's a matter of trust and i swore i have to let go of that thought and don't get paranoid... i realized it's not healthy in any ways... 

note to self: dwell on happy moments and happy thoughts. have faith and trust..!
paranoia kicked out...!

:)

weakness

today is a rough day :( 
a senior old colleague scolded me for something. everyone in the office knows his attitude, he tends to flare up if something didn't go according his way. he is on sales and he has few potential customers for the company… 
i've been doing things for him, estimates, draws layouts & single line diagrams, prepares d/o and I've been patient and handled him for three years now. nobody else is willing to do things for him… 
but today is just different. he asked me of a single line diagram he insisted he told me to revised but i never drawn any single line he is asking me of. a single line he said he gave me the other day, which falls on saturday, and we don't work on saturdays... 
he started to shout, talked something bad and heard him call me a stupid girl... 
one of my weakness is, if anyone shouts on me that will immediately trigger me to cry... 
so i was crying for like more than an hour this morning... 
one thing i didn't like about what happened, i answered him back and insisted my arguments. i felt guilty about it because he is old and he is supposed to be someone i must respect. i'm not the kind of person who usually do such things. i felt bad after...
but i thought right at that instant that i also deserved to be respected by him even if i'm just his subordinate and is way so young than him. i might be probably younger than his children... 
thanks to some of them here, who consoled me by saying, "please cool down, it's fine, he is always like that... you know his attitude...", "he is not worthy, so don't mind him...", "you're strong, don't let him ruin your day..."
but i am fine after i released all those tears... it ruined my mascara though :( that i had to wash my face, hehehe...